Voip Comparison

Does anyone have voip phone service from packet 8? If so how are their service?

Internet Explorer not responding.? I can not connect to the internet. I recently had my computer repaired. I took back to the place that repaired it and they were able to connect using Comcast internet modem, which is what I have. I have a packet 8 phone service connected to the internet which works fine but for some reason the internet will not work.

How do I update or delete a listing in the phone book? I have an entry that has a correct address and a wrong phone number and a second entry with the correct phone number with wrong address. Who exactly is responsible for phone book listings, is it the phone book producer or do they get their data from a centralized database. I migrated my phone to a VOIP provider and they claim no responsibility for the entry. I am in the former bell south territory, recently acquired by AT&T but use packet 8 for VOIP service.

Is there any other VOIP service that allows you to use your existing phones in your house like Charter does? I am currently on Charter Digital Telephone (VOIP) and they issued me a Arris Touchstone Modem which allows me to use all of my existing telephone wiring and phones. Problem is though Charters' telephone service stopped working. I am in the 30 day trail period and was thinking of canceling and just opting to use either Vonage, Packet 8, ATT Callvantage, Verizon's VOIP service, or some other VOIP service but I was wondering which one allows you to use your existing house phones without doing any modding to the house phone wiring just simply plugging a telephone wire into any telephone jack like Charters touchstone modem allows you to. Anyone know of a VOIP service that allows you to use your exisiting house telephones?

port forwarding/Port triggering Setup-for a WGR-614v6 Netgear wireless router? How Do I Setup My Port Fowarding Port Trigering for my WGR-614v6 Wireless Router For use with 2 Playstation 2s, A PSP, 2 Pentium 2 PCs Running Windows XP SP2, a Packet 8 VOIP Phone Adaptor, Running Thease Services on my LAN Napster, Windows Live Messager, Yahoo Messager, Comcast Rapisty player, Windows Media Player 11 w/ Napster Plugin, all Live services, Playstation 2 online Games,Packek 8 VOIP, and Sony PSP Online Games

What do I need to set up an Asterisk service? I've got a rather in-depth request for anyone who has jumped through all the hoops. What do we need to make and receive calls to/from VoIP & PSTN phones worldwide, and what would the cost be? We intend to use our existing Cisco 7940 / 7960 IP phones. What specs should the server have for good call quality? we will have 5 offices with 8 users (perhaps 4 concurrent), and 1 with 20 users (perhaps 10 concurrent). With the server located in one site and all our IP phones/stations located throughout the United States, what kind of internet will be needed at both the server and IP phone ends? (asymmetric/symemetric? need packet prioritization via the switch to ensure voice call quality? will cable internet be ok?) Do we need to pay a service to convert our IP calls to/from the regular PSTN network? what about long-distance PSTN? What support, installation, troubleshooting, fixing solutions does Digium offer and how much does it run? We need to ensure that we won't lose service.

Have you had an Internet phone company NIGHTMARE ? I just got packet 8 in July and was quiet happy by the domestic and international calls until first week of August we had severe storms and due to lightning my cable modem and the packet 8 Amplifier connected to it got fried. I called the cable and within 2 days they had a guy come to my home to replace a new modem without even charging me. Well the packet8 story is different, first I called...callled..and called and you can never get through someone to pick up in the phone..just a run around.. so I tried login to my packet pathetic account and made a case..well sttill no response..I guess the company kind of expecting a way for customers to went their frustration..... There are no responses still to my emails.......... last wednesday I finaly got a hold of a guy in technical service , boy that was a nightmare...he asked me 1000 questions as if I was being intorigated as a suspect for a crime or something. Finaly he said he will mail me a new one..well Iam still waiting..

Trip to China cheated by Ming Ming Travel Service?

50 things to do at a mall.? 50 Things to Do in a Mall 1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King.. 9. ..but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'. 10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.' 11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't see it?' 13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears. 14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning. 15. Test mattresses in your pajamas. 16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels. 17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side. 18. Sprint up the down escalator. 19. Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the 'hidden picture'. 20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish. 21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda. 22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone. 23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them. 24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner. 25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist. 26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of Eau de Swane. 27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens. 28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard. 29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 'I see London, I see France..' 30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps. 31. Play the tuba for change. 32. Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play 'Jesus Built My Hotrod'. 33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers. 34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will 'give you a really wicked buzz'. 35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have 'any giant crap made out of straw'. 36. 'Toast' plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display. 37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts. 38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it. 39. Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing 'Saved by the Bell'. Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets. 40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling 'scratch one flattop!' 41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are 'leakproof'. 42. 'Play' the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. 43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. 44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they're real. 45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap. 46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say 'Domino's.' 47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. 48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. 49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know 'whether they've seen this man.' 50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet. Star if you like. Check more out more of my jokes!

where could this all happen? 1.Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2.Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3.Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shock. 4.Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!" 6.Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7.Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8.Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger Queen,... 9....But save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're, "astronaut food". 10.Follow patrons of D. Balton's around while reading aloud from Dianetics. 11.Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12.Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?" 13.Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears. 14.Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes appartments, occasionally screaming without warning. 15.Test mattresses in your pajamas. 16.Ask the tobacconist if his hovercraft is full of eels. 17.If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side. 18.Sprint up the down escalator. 19.Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the, "hidden picture". 20.Ask appliance personnel if they have a combo toaster/washing machine. 21.Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda. 22.Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone. 23.At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them. 24.Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner. 25.Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist. 26.Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. 27.Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens. 28.Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard. 29.In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France..." 30.Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps. 31.Play the tuba for change. 32.Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play, "Jesus Built My Hotrod". 33.Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers. 34.Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will, "give you a really wicked buzz". 35.Ask the personnel at Peer 1 Imports whether they have, "any giant crap made out of straw". 36."Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display. 37.Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts. 38.Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it. 39.Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing, "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets. 40.Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling, "scratch one flattop!" 41.Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are, "leak proof". 42."Play" the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. 43.Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. 44.Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they're real. 45.If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on your lap. 46.Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say, "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut, home of the Big Foot Big Six. May I take your order please?" 47.Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. 48.At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. 49.Show people your driver's license and demand to know, "whether they've seen this man." 50.Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet give me star plz!!!if found weird or interesting.

Hi!Funny or no? 24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator... 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!" 11. Meow occasionally. 12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 17. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on. People Really Said These Things In Court Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q: Did he kill you? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, sir. Q: And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. The Blonde & The Coke Machine It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!" Poor Old Man This old man goes to the doctor's. "Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long." "So what's the problem?" "I can't remember where I live." Blonde in a Car A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car. Daughter's Prayer A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!" Your Family Is So Poor Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, “Hey, who turned off the heater!” Tooth Pulling A man and his wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." Grass Eater A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man. "I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, please come to my house!" "But sir, I have a wife and four children..." "Bring them along!" the rich man said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in." The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!" You''re So Ugly You''re so ugly, when yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering! Pinocchio and Splinters One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?" "Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it. "Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your "Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?" Clinton, Bush, and Washington... Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!'' George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!'' And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?'' Not Going To Try This Again A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. Mini Meanie The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar. Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is." Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?" Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it." That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father. Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is." Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?" Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit." The Deacon and the Preacher There once was this deacon and this preacher, and they had been friends for a long time. One day the deacon got sick and was put in the hospital, so the preacher decided to go and see his old friend. When he walked into the hospital room, the preacher noticed all the hoses and medical equipment attached to the deacon. The preacher walked over and kneeled by the bed and asked, ''How ya doing?'' The deacon motioned at a pad and pen on the nightstand. ''You want that?'' the preacher asked him, and the deacon nodded his head yes. So the preacher handed his friend the pad and pen and the deacon began to write. All of a sudden the deacon died. At his funeral, the preacher was asked to deliver the service. ''He was a good man and I'll never forget him,'' the preacher said, ''I was with him when he died and as a matter of fact I have his last thought in my coat pocket here.'' The preacher reaches into his pocket and pulls out the paper. ''Please, get up! You're kneeling on my oxygen hose!'' Too Smart A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid? Harry: "Coconut." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: "Bubble gum" Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off. The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole. Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole. The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one. Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!" Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ... So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket! This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ... But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ... A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?" "No dear it's because you are 25." A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the park and she grabbed this kid. Then she wrote a note saying, "If you ever want to see your child again, leave 10,000 dollars in a paper bag in the northwest corner of the park." then she signed it 'THE BLONDE' and told the kid to give it to his mom. The next day she went to the northwest corner of the park and got the paper bag. It had the money in it and a note from the mother that said, "How could you do this to another blonde?" Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." and the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. *when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home ~~~~ Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. A Blonde's Year in Review January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March: Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... Box said "2-4 years!" April: Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!! May: Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June: Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope. July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition... Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm... Car swamped because soft-top was o pen. September: The capital of California is "C"... isn't it? October: I hate M &M's... They are so hard to peel. November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... Instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December: Couldn't call 911... "duh" ... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone! Star if u like them!!!!

Hijackthis log - any suggestions? - system is slow and uploading a ton of packets? Logfile of HijackThis v1.99.1 Scan saved at 11:15:01 AM, on 8/3/2007 Platform: Windows XP SP1 (WinNT 5.01.2600) MSIE: Internet Explorer v6.00 SP1 (6.00.2800.1106) Running processes: C:\WINDOWS\System32\smss.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\winlogon.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\services.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\lsass.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\svchost.exe C:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost.exe C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\aswUpdSv.exe C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashServ.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\spoolsv.exe C:\PROGRA~1\SLIMSE~1\server\Bin\MSWIN3~1\mysqld.exe C:\Program Files\SlimServer\server\slim.exe C:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost.exe C:\WINDOWS\System32\BRMFRSMG.EXE C:\WINDOWS\system32\ZoneLabs\vsmon.exe C:\WINDOWS\Explorer.EXE C:\Program Files\Creative\SBAudigy2\Surround Mixer\CTSysVol.exe C:\WINDOWS\BCMSMMSG.exe C:\PROGRA~1\ALWILS~1\Avast4\ashDisp.exe C:\WINDOWS\System32\LVCOMSX.EXE C:\Program Files\AWS\WeatherBug\Weather.exe C:\Program Files\Skype\Phone\Skype.exe C:\Documents and Settings\Mark\Desktop\HijackThis.exe C:\Program Files\SlimServer\SlimTray.exe C:\Program Files\Zone Labs\ZoneAlarm\zapro.exe C:\Program Files\Skype\Plugin Manager\SkypePM.exe R3 - Default URLSearchHook is missing O2 - BHO: AcroIEHlprObj Class - {06849E9F-C8D7-4D59-B87D-784B7D6BE0B3} - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\ActiveX\AcroIEHelper.dll O2 - BHO: IexploreOmea - {09628AAA-66AD-4FA2-82E2-698185B66463} - (no file) O2 - BHO: (no name) - {53707962-6F74-2D53-2644-206D7942484F} - C:\PROGRA~1\SPYBOT~1\SDHelper.dll O3 - Toolbar: &Radio - {8E718888-423F-11D2-876E-00A0C9082467} - C:\WINDOWS\System32\msdxm.ocx O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [CTSysVol] C:\Program Files\Creative\SBAudigy2\Surround Mixer\CTSysVol.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [BCMSMMSG] BCMSMMSG.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [avast!] C:\PROGRA~1\ALWILS~1\Avast4\ashDisp.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [LVCOMSX] C:\WINDOWS\System32\LVCOMSX.EXE O4 - HKCU\..\Run: [Weather] C:\Program Files\AWS\WeatherBug\Weather.exe 1 O4 - HKCU\..\Run: [Skype] "C:\Program Files\Skype\Phone\Skype.exe" /nosplash /minimized O4 - HKCU\..\Run: [HijackThis startup scan] C:\Documents and Settings\Mark\Desktop\HijackThis.exe /startupscan O4 - HKCU\..\RunOnce: [Index Washer] C:\Program Files\Webroot\Washer\WashIdx.exe "Mark" O4 - Global Startup: SlimServer Tray Tool.lnk = C:\Program Files\SlimServer\SlimTray.exe O4 - Global Startup: ZoneAlarm Pro.lnk = C:\Program Files\Zone Labs\ZoneAlarm\zapro.exe O8 - Extra context menu item: E&xport to Microsoft Excel - res://C:\PROGRA~1\MICROS~2\Office10\EXCEL.EXE/3000 O9 - Extra button: (no name) - {08B0E5C0-4FCB-11CF-AAA5-00401C608501} - C:\WINDOWS\System32\msjava.dll O9 - Extra 'Tools' menuitem: Sun Java Console - {08B0E5C0-4FCB-11CF-AAA5-00401C608501} - C:\WINDOWS\System32\msjava.dll O9 - Extra button: WeatherBug - {AF6CABAB-61F9-4f12-A198-B7D41EF1CB52} - C:\PROGRA~1\AWS\WEATHE~1\Weather.exe (HKCU) O10 - Unknown file in Winsock LSP: c:\spjavashim\spjvshim.dll O10 - Unknown file in Winsock LSP: c:\spjavashim\spjvshim.dll O10 - Unknown file in Winsock LSP: c:\spjavashim\spjvshim.dll O10 - Unknown file in Winsock LSP: c:\spjavashim\spjvshim.dll O10 - Unknown file in Winsock LSP: c:\spjavashim\spjvshim.dll O12 - Plugin for .spop: C:\Program Files\Internet Explorer\Plugins\NPDocBox.dll O16 - DPF: ActiveGS.cab - http://www.virtualapple.org/activegs.cab O16 - DPF: {231B1C6E-F934-42A2-92B6-C2FEFEC24276} (yucsetreg Class) - C:\Program Files\Yahoo!\common\yucconfig.dll O16 - DPF: {30528230-99f7-4bb4-88d8-fa1d4f56a2ab} - O17 - HKLM\System\CCS\Services\Tcpip\..\{1536AFF7-0F2B-49AD-8BAD-426668723A61}: NameServer = 208.67.222.222,208.67.220.220 O17 - HKLM\System\CS1\Services\Tcpip\..\{1536AFF7-0F2B-49AD-8BAD-426668723A61}: NameServer = 208.67.222.222,208.67.220.220 O17 - HKLM\System\CS2\Services\Tcpip\..\{1536AFF7-0F2B-49AD-8BAD-426668723A61}: NameServer = 208.67.222.222,208.67.220.220 O18 - Protocol: skype4com - {FFC8B962-9B40-4DFF-9458-1830C7DD7F5D} - C:\PROGRA~1\COMMON~1\Skype\SKYPE4~1.DLL O23 - Service: AdobeActiveFileMonitor - Unknown owner - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Photoshop Elements 3.0\PhotoshopElementsFileAgent.exe O23 - Service: avast! iAVS4 Control Service (aswUpdSv) - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\aswUpdSv.exe O23 - Service: Ati HotKey Poller - Unknown owner - C:\WINDOWS\System32\Ati2evxx.exe O23 - Service: avast! Antivirus - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashServ.exe O23 - Service: avast! Mail Scanner - Unknown owner - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashMaiSv.exe" /service (file missing) O23 - Service: avast! Web Scanner - Unknown owner - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashWebSv.exe" /service (file missing) O23 - Service: InstallDriver Table Manager (IDriverT) - Macrovision Corporation - C:\Program Files\Common Files\InstallShield\Driver\11\Intel 32\IDriverT.exe O23 - Service: iPod Service - Apple Inc. - C:\Program Files\iPod\bin\iPodService.exe O23 - Service: LVPrcSrv - Logitech Inc. - c:\program files\common files\logitech\lvmvfm\LVPrcSrv.exe O23 - Service: PhotoshopElementsDeviceConnect - Unknown owner - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Photoshop Elements 3.0\PhotoshopElementsDeviceConnect.exe O23 - Service: SlimServerMySQL - Unknown owner - C:\PROGRA~1\SLIMSE~1\server\Bin\MSWIN3~1\mysqld.exe O23 - Service: SlimServer (slimsvc) - Unknown owner - C:\Program Files\SlimServer\server\slim.exe O23 - Service: TrueVector Internet Monitor (vsmon) - Zone Labs Inc. - C:\WINDOWS\system32\ZoneLabs\vsmon.exe O23 - Service: wwSecSvc - Webroot Software, Inc. - C:\WINDOWS\System32\wwSecure.exe

I have some test questions and I need someone to tell me if I got them right? Please complete the following questions .Choose the best possible answer. Do not change the wording on questions or answers. Technical Skills Test 1.What does DNS do? a.Translates IP addresses into Binary Code b.Translates Domain Names into IP addresses c.Translates Domain Names into Binary Code d.Translates IP Addresses into Hexadecimal Code answer:b 2.In Windows XP and 2000, how do you open a command prompt? a.Go to Start and Run and type command b.Go into the Programs and click on MSDOS c.Go into the Control Panel and open Network Connections d.Go to Start and Run and type cmd answer:b 3.What are: POP- Post office Protocol SMTP- Simple mail transport protocol HTTP- Hypertext transfer protocol 4.What are the port numbers for the above services? POP 110 SMTP 25 HTTP 80 5.What command line tool do you use to check your IP Address, Default Gateway, and SubNet? a.ping b.tracert c.ipconfig dnetsh answer:a 6.Are these two computers on the same network? Yes IP- 192.168.222.4 Subnet- 255.255.555.0 Gateway- 192.168.222.1 IP- 192.168.222.6 Subnet- 255.255.0.0 Gateway- 192.167.222.1 7.What command line tool can you use to test connectivity between two computers? a.ping b.tracert c.ipconfig d.netsh answer:b 8.What is DHCP and what does it do? a.The Domain Host Control Protocol manages all the domains on the World Wide Web. b.The Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol manages all the domains on the World Wide Web. c.The Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol automates the assignment of IP addresses, subnet masks, default gateway, and other IP parameters. d.The Domain Host Control Protocol automates the assignment of IP addresses, subnet masks, default gateway, and other IP parameters. answer:c 9.How do you check to see if your computer has a static or dynamic IP address? a.Run ipconfig /all in a Command Prompt and check to see if DHCP enabled b.Checking the LAC Properties c.Checking the VPN Properties d.Run netsh in a Command Prompt and check to see if Dynamic IP addressing is enabled answer:d 10.How do you know when a web page is encrypted? a.When entering the site, you get a pop-up stating that you’re entering an encrypted site. b.The URL will begin with https:// c.Your firewall will pop-up stating that you are entering a secure environment d.The URL will begin with ftp:// answer:c 11.What is the difference between a router and a gateway? a.Routers connect with two or more logical subnets, which do not necessarily map one-to-one to the physical interfaces of the router. Gateways are most commonly used to transfer data between private networks and the Internet. A gateway is a network point that acts as an entrance to another network. b.Routers route IP addresses from your computer to the World Wide Web. Gateways connect your computer to the internet. c.A router is used primarily to create a wireless LAN. A gateway is used primarily in the use of VoIP phones. d.Routers are used to connect to like networks which share the same physical interfaces. A Gateway is used to connect two networks which are not alike. answer:a 12.What is the difference between a Hub and a Switch? a.A Hub is able to address the packets to the proper destination. A Switch must send the packets to everyone on the network in order for the packets to be received. b.A Hub only allows one device to successfully transmit at a time and each host remains responsible for collision detection and retransmission. Network switches are capable of inspecting data packets as they are received, determining the source and destination device of that packet, and forwarding it appropriately. c.A Hub is able to assign IP addresses to each Node on the network. A Switch must be manually configured by port. d.A Switch is able to assign IP addresses to each Node on the network. A Hub must be manually configured by port. answer:b 13.Computer ‘A’ has an IP address of 169.254.45.21, what does this mean? a.The computer is on a Virtual Private Network. b.The computer is unable to communicate within the LAN. c.The computer is only able to access specific sites. d.The computer is unable to access the World Wide Web. answer:b 14.What does a firewall do? a.Blocks all internet connectivity at all times. b.Prevents children from accessing the internet. c.Blocks the user from Malicious Attacks. d.Blocks all Email Activity to and from the computer. answer:a 15.On your system tray, you see an icon of your network connection with a red ‘X’ on it, what does this mean? a.The computer has lost connection with the network. b.The computer’s NIC has been disabled c.The Ethernet Cable is unplugged d.All of the Above answer:d 16.What information do you need to setup mail client? a.The ISP, Username, Password, POP server port, and SMTP server port b.Your Name, Username, Password, Incoming & Outgoing Server addresses c.Type of mail, the ISP, Password 16.What information do you need to setup mail client? answer:a 17.How do you clear the Internet cache on your computer? a.Go to Start > Run > Temp and delete all the files b.Go to Start > Run > Cookies and delete all the files c.In the Web Browser, open Internet Properties and delete Temporary Internet Files and Cookies. d.In the Web Browser, clear all the Browser History. answer:c 18.You are getting email, but the attachments are grayed out and you can’t open them, why? a.Your firewall is blocking attachments b.Your Mail Client is not up-to-date c.The Security settings in the browser are incorrect d.The Security settings in the Mail Client are too high answer:d 19.What is another name for network cable? a.Twisted Pair b.Cat-5/Category 5 c.Ethernet Cable d.All of the Above answer:d What can I study to find these answers?these are sample questions to get a job,thanks someone please help!

An open letter to Richard Branson, Avonline, and Virgin Media (Leaked Memo)?